No he escrito tanto como acostumbro por múltiples y muy variadas razones. La principal es, claro, que estoy dedicándole la mayor parte de mi tiempo a lo que se supone es mi tesis, porque me quedan 8 meses 8 para titularme… no que obligatoriamente tenga que titularme en junio, pero en verdad me gustaría que así fuera.
Otra razón es que estoy atoradísimo con una entrada (que va a terminar siendo página, como la de Harry Potter o la de Robotech), acerca de la Crisis Infinita de DC que terminé de leer hace unos meses.
Estoy, repito, atoradísimo, porque estoy perdiendo el control con esa entrada. Lleva cerca de 10,000 palabras y ni siquiera he comenzado a hablar de la Crisis Infinita; si así siguen las cosas terminará siendo tan larga que no estoy seguro de que ni siquiera yo la lea.
Pero bueno; comento esto para justificar mi falta de entradas, y porque esta entrada es del primer anual de Superman/Batman, uno de los mejores títulos que tiene DC en este momento. Por encima, la historia parece ser un recuento de cómo Batman y Superman descubrieron sus respectivas identidades secretas; pero la historia termina degenerando en una comedia de enredos (Tierra-1 y Tierra-2 incluidas), y aunque pachequísima, creo que es de las historias más divertidas que ha publicado DC en años; el narrador de la historia en algún momento comenta:
What ensued in the next fifteen minutes of that ill-fated voyage will go down in the annals of metahuman conflict as the ultimate mamma jamma of super-battles. Picture it…
While hundreds of passengers ran for cover, these giants–no, these titans waged war as the very cosmos cried out in defiance arount them!
With lightning speed, Batman and Owlman traded blows using amazing contraptions of equally matched yet diametrically opposed ingenuity. Batarang versus owlrang. Batrope versus owlrope. Bat-sneer versus owl-grimace! (you might think that bats and owls aren’t diametrically opposed, but in nature they really hate each other.. it’s in books.)
Below, while Deathstroke peppered both the decks and his strange doppleganger with handfuls of micro-missiles, Superwoman set about the ardous task of dissecting that same lip-flappin’ mercenary using nothing more than a makeup mirror and a pair of pantyhose.
For his part, the mysterious “un-Deathstroke” bled profusely and cried in shame.
Then, an army of slightly confused purple-winged thanagarians dropped from the sky, locked in battle with three dozen cybertronic blachhawks in a beak-on-beak dance of death. Much blood was shed, and yeah, it was “hot.”
Superman and Ultraman smote one another with thunderous smitings… is it “smitings” or “smotings”? That’s a funny word, isn’t it? “Smote”? Really doesn’t sound like a word after a while…
Mogo stopped by just to say hi, and to get back the Pyrenees Earth had borrowed 97 trillion years ago. If you don’t ask, the Earth never remembers to give stuff back. But Mogo saw what was going on with the heroes and the anti-heroes, and just said he’d check in later “After my stories are done. It’s cool, I don’t need them until tuesday.”
Darkseid played chess with Ambush Bug. Ambush Bug won and accidentally destroyed the Universe with the “Ultimate Clapper.” Then Krypto woke up, happy to realize it had just been a terrible dream.
We would have actually shown all of this awesome battle to you, but no offense, your all too human minds would just melt and drip out through your nasal cavities, turned to jelly by the powe of sheer, undiluted awesomeness.
And then…!!
And then…!!
Y entonces es cuando se pone loca la historia. Léanla, de verdad está divertida. Sobre todo el final, cuando el villano que planeó todo esto (no les diré quien, nada más porque no quiero) explica por qué lo hizo:
Because today’s stories need angst! I mean, have you looked at the shelves lately?
The Civil Crisis of Identical Wars is a huge seller! This thing was too quaint, so I, you know, pumped it up…
The Civil Crisis of Identical Wars… ja.
